We believe laughter is one of the best ways for kids to relax and bond with friends and family. Little Johnny jokes are a timeless way to bring a smile to children’s faces. Known for his witty, often mischievous take on school, family, and everyday life, Little Johnny’s clever comebacks and innocent humor make these jokes a favorite among kids and parents alike.
Here’s a collection of the funniest Little Johnny jokes, perfect for sharing with kids who love a good laugh. Get ready for some giggles as we dive into these laugh-out-loud scenarios, brought to you by The Kids Point.
School Situations
- Teacher: “Johnny, why are you doing your math homework on the floor?”
Little Johnny: “Because you told us not to use tables!” - Teacher: “Johnny, can you tell me what an essay is?”
Little Johnny: “Sure, an essay is when you make a lot of mistakes but pretend it’s all part of the plan!” - Teacher: “Johnny, I hope I didn’t just see you looking at your friend’s test.”
Little Johnny: “You’re right, Teacher, I was trying to look at mine!” - Teacher: “If I gave you $20 and told you to keep $5, how much would you have?”
Little Johnny: “Twenty dollars, because I wouldn’t give you back anything!” - Teacher: “Johnny, if you had one apple and your friend gave you two more, how many apples would you have?”
Little Johnny: “I don’t like apples, so none!” - Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence with the word ‘sugar’ in it.”
Little Johnny: “I drank my coffee in the morning.”
Teacher: “But where’s the word ‘sugar’?”
Little Johnny: “It’s in the coffee!”
Family Funnies
- Mom: “Johnny, stop making faces at your sister. You’re going to freeze like that.”
Little Johnny: “Then I’d be the coolest kid ever!” - Dad: “Why did you do that, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “Because I thought if I broke the vase, then the rule of not playing in the living room wouldn’t apply anymore.” - Mom: “Johnny, did you finish your dinner?”
Little Johnny: “Almost, I gave the last bit to the dog because I thought he looked hungrier than me.” - Mom: “Johnny, if you behave well, I’ll buy you ice cream!”
Little Johnny: “Can I just get the ice cream and we’ll work on the behavior part later?” - Grandma: “Johnny, don’t you know it’s rude to ask people’s age?”
Little Johnny: “Then why do you keep asking me how old I am every birthday?”
Clever Comebacks
- Teacher: “Johnny, why are you talking during my lesson?”
Little Johnny: “Because talking helps me learn better, so technically, I’m studying!” - Principal: “Johnny, why did you come to school late today?”
Little Johnny: “Well, I thought of missing school, but I figured you’d miss me too much!” - Teacher: “Johnny, you were supposed to be doing silent reading.”
Little Johnny: “I was! My brain just made a little noise, that’s all.” - Teacher: “Johnny, you should be ashamed. You copied your friend’s homework.”
Little Johnny: “But I thought teamwork was encouraged in school!” - Teacher: “Johnny, if you keep disrupting the class, I’ll have to call your parents.”
Little Johnny: “Good luck reaching them during naptime!”
Science Class Jokes
- Teacher: “Johnny, do you know what happens when water reaches 100 degrees?”
Little Johnny: “Yes! It burns my tongue!” - Teacher: “What’s the formula for water, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.”
Teacher: “No, it’s H₂O.”
Little Johnny: “But you said water is H to O!” - Teacher: “Johnny, how do we know the Earth is round?”
Little Johnny: “Because it keeps going around and around every time I run in circles!” - Teacher: “Johnny, why do fish live in salt water?”
Little Johnny: “Because pepper makes them sneeze!” - Teacher: “Johnny, what did you learn about electricity?”
Little Johnny: “It’s shocking!”
Math Mayhem
- Teacher: “If you have ten apples and eat two, how many apples do you have left?”
Little Johnny: “All of them! Because I ate them in my mind.” - Teacher: “Johnny, if you found a wallet with $500 in it, what would you do?”
Little Johnny: “Easy, I’d pay someone to help me count all that money!” - Teacher: “Johnny, what comes after 10?”
Little Johnny: “The letter J!” - Teacher: “If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight apples in the other, what would I have?”
Little Johnny: “Really big hands!” - Teacher: “Johnny, there are 12 birds on the tree. If you shoot one, how many are left?”
Little Johnny: “None! The rest would fly away!”
Knock-Knock with Little Johnny
- Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Little Johnny: “Don’t cry! It’s just a joke!” - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Little Johnny: “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?” - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Little Johnny: “I scream every time I see my report card!” - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Little Johnny: “Olive you and I mean it!” - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Little Johnny: “Never mind, it’s pointless!”
Mischievous Answers
- Teacher: “Johnny, why is your homework late again?”
Little Johnny: “Because my dog ate it.”
Teacher: “You don’t have a dog!”
Little Johnny: “It was my neighbor’s dog!” - Mom: “Johnny, why didn’t you eat your veggies?”
Little Johnny: “Because I thought it was good to save some for tomorrow!” - Dad: “Why are you standing in front of the TV, Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “Because I wanted to be the center of attention!” - Teacher: “Johnny, if you could change one thing about school, what would it be?”
Little Johnny: “The hours. Maybe 12 to 1 would be nice!” - Principal: “Johnny, do you understand why you’re here in my office?”
Little Johnny: “Nope, but I’m sure it’s because I’m popular!”
Why Kids Love Little Johnny Jokes
These Little Johnny jokes are sure to bring smiles and laughter to kids and families everywhere. The Kids Point loves how humor can bridge gaps, create memories, and make learning fun. Whether it’s a car ride, a family gathering, or just a moment to lighten the day, these jokes are the perfect way to bring a burst of laughter into any situation.
For more fun-filled content and activities, visit The Kids Point – where play, learning, and laughter come together!